It seemed like a problem any doctor could easily fix —but mere moments into my appointment, I realized my new doctor wasn't going to. Many doctors are open to dialogue and may respond well to the kind of "simple, direct correction" Friedman talks about. Expressing disgust. I felt totally embarrassed afterwards. The doctor's office is a place where we're often at our most vulnerable. doctors make patients feel ashamed of themselves, a psychiatrist derided his patient for being "dowdy. While Colorado law affords doctors a certain amount of professional judgment, there is a line where harmful decisions cross into the realm of medical malpractice. And let them know they did a good job — caring for people is tough, and those who do it right deserve a pat on the back. Some doctors are open about what they do, some aren't. But doctor-judging is still sadly common — common enough that the New York Times thought nothing of publishing an op-ed in which a psychiatrist derided his patient for being "dowdy." I talked to Jaclyn Friedman, author of the brand-new What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety, who explains, "It's totally appropriate for a doctor to want to know the equipment of people you're sleeping with, and if you're sexually active. Maybe you've experienced this, too — a moment when a doctor acts like their medical training gives them the right to judge your non-medical life. When I told him before my first (and only!) Being able to tell when someone thinks ill of you is not exactly the triple axel of social interaction; a lot of people can manage it, even if they can't necessarily break down what's making them feel that way. That has to do with disease prevention, and whether or not you need birth control." If they don't, though, they may not be the right fit for you — and a doctor you can't talk to won't help you stay healthy. The doctor never apologized, and offered me no guidance either on how to stay safe sexually or how to speak to my mother afterward. It's also reasonable for them to ask if you feel safe in your current relationship, if you have one. A dermatologist prescribed me the same kind of medication that you use for genital warts, unbeknownst to me. Pushing weight loss after you've said you aren't seeking weight loss advice. Instead, you could also choose to respond later, when you've had more time to process and figure out what you want to say. Below, some tips on handling this difficult situation. Anna - May 30, 2019. it doesnt matter that i am hairy. Telling you that you had too many partners in the last month isn't. A very judgemental doctor. She showed complete disregard for her patient, in my opinion, by even asking that question in front of my mom, especially when I was too young to say I didn't want my mother in the room with me. Sexuality is an integral part of people's lives, and it's not something that you should conceal. I was 25 at the time and that remark made me want to punch my doctor. Some of these questions may be sensitive, but that doesn't mean they're invasive. ", "Someone drugged my drink at a bar. It was f*cked up and I didn't see her again. Keeping the focus there basically forces them to either drop it or say "I care about your weight more than any of those other things," which of course tells you what kind of doctor they are. She looked at me judgmentally and said, 'That's a lot for your age.' I'd had only two drinks before ending up there. I doubt it. Being judgmental distorts our perception of other people, of ourselves and of what matters most. Bringing up your weight in the middle of an uncomfortable procedure. I have seen so many different doctors, consultants and alternative therapists I have lost count. The morbidly obese smoker with a heart attack should be treated with the same earnestness as the thin one. Doctors are the lowest and weakest link in a Machiavellian power chain (or ladder). ", "'Oh you don't want to have kids? Never have I been treated crazier and like a junkie in my life. I was stunned... and because I was so stunned, I could only answer by apologizing. If they say no, she goes elsewhere if possible. In short, the very best physicians care about each patient as a human being, and do not judge the human being who is the patient. for example, I feel like it doesn't matter what i wear. By. 292. There are statistics about the outcomes of various health problems, but no doctor knows the exact outcome for a. Doctors are soooo judgemental. 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